Dealing with shame when you can't seem to quit

        Alcohol and drugs take the edge off.  There's no doubt about that but when your need to block out the negatives in your life start to put you in the danger zone with your consumption you soon realize that quitting is just not that easy. The obsessions and compulsions that drive this lack of control travel on a continuum that can be seen  as a journey from light use to addiction - no one starts off with a drinking/drug/technology problem it just develops; sometimes frighteningly fast and sometimes over a lifetime.  The end result is the same and the feelings of powerlessness and shame often rise as a result.
     
The habit of judging our weakness is enough to send us straight to the bottle - shame is a great driver of substance abuse.  Know that your brain undergoes significant changes when you have dependence or addictions in areas that control both drive and executive thinking so the voice that will normally get you to put the breaks on is on a "break" while the part of your brain that drives things such as emotion, hunger and fear is supercharged.  You can get things back to normal but it needs time without psychoactive drugs and behaviours to achieve this.
         Finding your most powerful motivations will start your neuro-detox - could be your children or it could be your sport!  Find someone to guide you through the process of gaining control through this time because it really is so very hard just to get a start.  I know because I've see people do this journey every week for nearly 20 years.  Doing it alone is even harder and doing it without a plan is almost impossible.
        Always remember every attempt is not a failure - just use it as a learning opportunity so you can see what triggered you to use/drink today and find a solution for tomorrow.    
 

As you take those first steps, let the shame go and feel the power return!

                                     Aly Birmingham Geats 

Is alcohol essential to the night time economy? | Grog WatchGrog Watch

Is alcohol essential to the night time economy? | Grog WatchGrog Watch

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Aly Birmingham Geats

Coach, counsellor and therapist on Sydneys upper North Shore

Mindfulness and cbt

http://blogs.psychcentral.com/channeln/2012/09/mindfulness-based-cognitive-therapy-video-toolkit/

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Aly Birmingham Geats

Coach, counsellor and therapist on Sydneys upper North Shore

Myths Of Addiction

By E Mack

It is not uncommon to read the testimonials of those who suffered many years of addiction and claim they found recovery without narcotics anonymous, therapy or any of the usual methods. In fact they claim the seven stints in rehab, years of attendance in AA or NA and CBT therapy were all unsuccessful. Generally these folk are selling something. The fact is recovery from addiction is often a long journey where many tools are gathered along the way and these tools are an essential part of recovery from addiction. Ultimately, these tools and experiences are the cumulative gifts that enable long-term recovery. Each relapse is different and you take what you have learnt while you were clean "this time".

There is no one size fits all treatment any more than there is an addictive personality. Will power alone is very unlikely to get you clean long term and yes sometimes a family system does, in fact, play a sizable role in enabling an individual's addiction. The most important things to remember are that people don't generally stay clean the first time and when they do get time up they need those closest to them to get help and support for themselves. Many times individuals come home after rehab to a family that is still functioning in an unhealthy state and end up relapsing. Addiction both affects and infects the whole family system.

There is no one profile of who will experience problems with substance abuse or addiction of any kind yet many treatments attempt to put forward one guaranteed method to cure addiction. This is simply not possible. There is a combination of factors involved with each and every individual who develops problematic addictions or dependencies and this combination will influence the efficacy of treatment. These are known as the bio, psycho, social factors. Personality type, family history - both genetic and family environment, social environment such as friends or community and levels of psychological functioning particularly in areas of depression and anxiety. For example a person with high sensitivity and introversion, family history of compulsive or addictive issues (siblings, parents, grandparents), community with high acceptance of substance abuse and high unemployment and adolescent depression is at high risk. Multiple factors such as these may be seen as the perfect storm. Each factor needs to be addressed with a client in an assessment in order for a treatment plan to be formed that will create maximum opportunities for change. There is no point in utilising AA as a part of a treatment plan for someone with social anxiety or arranging for a four week detox and rehab for a client who has been coerced by their parents to speak to you and has expressed no concerns in regards to their drug or alcohol use. Motivational Therapy would be a more productive choice for their initial treatment which would then lead to a more formal treatment plan.

Using only one treatment modality will lose many opportunities to assist clients at potentially high cost to both them and their families and is a dangerous and often ego- driven practice.  http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=E_Mack

Aly Birmingham Geats BA Psych, Cert AOD (Dist). PostGrad Dip. (Dist.)

www.northernbeachescounsellingsupport.com.au