As a person supporting someone with an addiction we need to look also at ourselves and how this addiction has infected the whole family.
We need to be very brave in our honesty and not back away from looking at how our behaviours play a part in the addiction.
We must be honest with ourselves and stop justifying our deficiencies by blaming them on the situation around us.
We must be willing to accept criticism with an open mind.
We must be willing to get humble, open minded and become teachable. This is so important!! Having an open mind and seeing our own part in things is probably the hardest part of all. Its never about recovery for the addict alone but recovery for the whole family system. That is what supports success.
The hardest part for me was realising that I was actually making it harder for my "loved one" to stay clean by the way I was trying to help him every time he got clean/out of rehab/going to counsellors and meetings. Really hard to look at yourself- its not your fault that youre doing the wrong things but when you have someone telling you that you may be part of the problem you just can't not listen because it could cost a life.
ReplyDeleteAs an addict i can tell you the people around you can make all the difference. my family just didnt want to let go of thinking they could fix me and i ended up having to not see them for quite a while which was really hard for all of us and they still dont get it.
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